This time, it *is* personal.

Recently, I sparked a bit of controversy on facebook with a status update that read: I am extraordinarily pissed at the Mormon Church. Through a series of comments throughout the first few hours, I made it clear that my frustrations were with the church's donation of lots of money in support of California's Proposition 8. Later that evening, two of my close childhood friends (who happen to be Mormon twins) posted their own set of comments defending the Latter Day Saints position in opposition to gay marriage, their right to donate money to whatever cause they deem necessary, and to reiterate their love of me and request that we can just "agree to disagree" on the issue.

After mulling it all over, I decided to delete the comment thread and to message the girls directly primarily to avoid public debate, which I assumed to be unnecessary and crass. In summation, my response went something like the following... **Note: This is a paraphrase of what I wrote and some new ideas and points I never made to the girls. Some of the more personal comments are not included**

First, to clear up any misconceptions by my scathing status... I harbor no ill will against the Mormon church; conversely, my feelings towards the LDS are generally positive because they are one of the few modern religious organizations that actually practices what they preach... Novell concept, eh?

I understand and respect the rights we as citizens have to donate our money to whatever cause we feel appropriate; this is not my issue here. But to donate and support feverishly a proposition which RESTRICTS the rights of gays while having NOTHING to do with the rights of nongays is beyond fathomable for me. Christians, Mormons, whomever claim that marriage is a sacred institution, a concept I affirm, yet fail to see how two men in, say, San Fransisco being wed has any affect on the sancity or holiness of the marriage between a straight LDS couple. Moreover, since when has it been this government's responsibility to protect what someone feels is a holy institution?

My friends brought up that in this great nation, we Mormons and homosexuals alike share the same freedom to use our money as we please. But can someone point to me what happened to my freedom to marry a man that I love? Straight couples obviously enjoy that freedom, as do our parents, my brother and family, but what about me? Where is my protection?

They asked me to agree to disagree with them on the issue of gay marriage... I can agree to disagree on our *personal* beliefs of hte issue but I can NEVER agree to disagree that this wonderful government we live in has allowed such a gross display of tyranny of the majority. These are the actions that our founding fathers set out to prevent... Yet somehow, it has occurred and barely a citizen flinches. Where has our liberty gone?

The girls spoke of a hatred against the LDS, an ignorance spewed out by the gay community with misplaced anger and frustration. They know nothing of hatred. Gays risk losing their family when they come out (fortunately, this did not happen to me!); I certainly lost friends. I have been branded a "faggot", a "godless heathen", a "perversion" by people whom once told me they loved me. I was kicked out of my best friend's house my freshman year of college because his parents believed I might corrupt their younger son. I live in constant fear of hate crime, always looking over my shoulder because my sexuality is not deemed normalitive by society. They know nothing of hatred.

Yet I understand that we all face adversity; my Mormon friends growing up in a hugely Protestant town faced constant calls from their "Christian" friends to repent, to reject their religious beliefs and follow a "real" religion. I was even taught by an intolerant church methods of saving the souls of the lost LDS. However, when the dust settles and they crawl into bed at night, they snuggle up next to the men they are madly in love with knowing that their mom and dad are *proud* of the mates they have chosen. Me? I will one day crawl up next to the man I love but never get to experience full acceptance in the eyes of this government, some of my friends, or, more importantly, my family. My children will be branded as "faglings" and when I am sick in a hospital, my husband may not be able to visit. Straight couples have the basic luxury of loving whomever they choose for whatever reasons but me... I am restricted, by law, by the very government I love so passionately, from following suit. Somehow, my love is not good enough.

Please tell me how that is fair? Sorry, but this *is* personal... I cannot agree to disagree... I cannot not take this personally. From this day forward, I will fight continuously for equality, for fairness, for justice in the realm of gay unions. We are *not* second rate citizens, we are *not* perversions and abominations... we are people. We are Americans like everyone else who want the simple pleasures of life, who want to live the American dream. With this in mind, I promise to never let the sorrows of seeing states ban gay marriage prevent me from pursuing true equality in the eyes of my country's law. We lost a battle yesterday, my friends, but the war is far from over.

I love my country, I love everything it stands for... It will only be made better once it truly protects my rights.